Blue winter at Dawn

On this particularly grey morning. I sit down at the table so as to have a good view of the lovely garden. A place where we have sat many times before. The place where we would talk endlessly for hours. About everything, and yet about nothing in particular. Our conversations were intense, and at the best of times, silly. My hands wrap around my mug of coffee, my tear filled eyes adjust to the dimness of the blue grey dawn. As I sit at this cyber kitchen table, the only light illuminating the room is a candle on the windowsill. Your light. On this particular day, there is no smell of cookies baking in the oven. No bustling of the dogs as they rustle about your feet, one lying under the table. Wonder what she is thinking?

 

A slight touch of your hand cresses mine as you sit down beside me to enjoy the view of the garden. A touch that says ‘you are loved’. The greatest friendship I have know grew at this table, with a view of a spectacular English garden, where the faeries and sprites danced about. The garden on this gloomy morning is covered with snow, a few patterns of some small animals, perhaps a squirrel, maybe a wee bird.

I feel a chill cross the room, an auspicious presence fills the air and pull my sweater up tight around my neck. I see a shadow as it moves discreetly across the twilight of the wintry garden. I look closer but, upon close inspection nothing is there. It has moved into the shadows. I smile. In the silence of the colourless room, a tear drop falls into my cup. Memories fill my heart of all the times we sat here. Your caring, warmth and affection forever imbedded within my soul. The love you brought into my life, into my heart, fills my very being, forever. You comforted me in some of my darkest moments, and we sat here as we grieved your beloved pets.

We talked about the memory of my mother, the life of my daughter; whom you adored. In turn you shared some deep precious moments with me. You had a unique gift. One driven by your love and compassion for all living things. Your wisdom has touched so many, I was one of many to be blessed to have your presence touch mine. When you grieved your beloved pets, we sat here in this very spot; I was blessed to comfort you. We laughed, we cried. You were the mother I never had. 

Many times, you were the voice of reason. You were my logical mind that saw me straight. Your words always touched my heart and calmed my presence. You helped me to see things through another perspective. There were many with whom you brought your wisdom and love to. Those who’s hearts and lives you touched, lives with whom you have changed for the better. Soul’s whom are grateful for the exchange. Always a lady of love and grace. A true goddess of your time. You will forever be in the hearts of all those whom you’ve touched. Soul’s you have loved.

I hope you know how you have impacted my life, my heart, my soul. It will be hard to let you go, but the memory of you; the essence of all that you were will live in my heart forever. You have deeply touched my heart, and you will live there forever. My greatest wish in my life is that we would have met. Someday, I’m sure we will.

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